Part 1 of 4; Patience
From the age of 12 when I got my first cell phone, my moments of isolation and boredom have been few and far between. I mean, we think we’re bored, but honestly…there’s always been someone to chat to, somewhere to go, something to see! I can appreciate that now.
March 2020 brought some real life 21st century style boredom! All of a sudden the world’s nations were plunged into lockdowns, travel restrictions, restaurant, theater, park closures! Many of the simple things which subconsciously kept us entertained were taken from us. The common experience which followed for most of us was the compact (constant) company of our spouses, siblings, parents, roomies!
For those of you reading this thinking, “Well lucky you, I was riding solo!”, my lessons in patience were born directly from the interactions experienced with those inside the same four walls as I.
The ones we rose with each morning with a sense of groundhog day, with whom we tried to adapt to the WFH life, and those we binge watched series after series with, each evening. My teammates.
I’m calling anyone within my household in 2020 my teammate, because that’s what they were and that’s what I hoped to have been to them.
How has it made me a better teammate?
One thing I don’t think I’ve tried to do enough in the past, whether within my work team, soccer team, school classes…or any multi-person unit really, is try to exercise patience to someone seemingly purposefully pressing my buttons. Nor have I stopped to consider the impact I’m having when I assume the role of Chief presser of the buttons! It took the pressure cooker environment of being locked down for me to realise for myself the relationship between being bored or fed up and how quickly I would become irritable. Or, should the shoe be on the other foot, how someone else’s irritability might be warranted on account of my boredom manifesting as taunting.
Ultimately…when the (metaphoric) temperature rises, people will (metaphorically) boil over. This makes sense and isn’t new to me. But! Have I ever really pushed myself to decrease that temperature? I think when we grow impatient or have disagreements with our teammates in any environment we don’t necessarily try to understand what is happening below the surface. These engagements are few and far between so why spend energy on them? Well, who feels great after a heated exchange? Not many of us.
During these spells of being cooped up in close quarters, there has been little choice but to decrease the temperature for everyone’s sanity…we’re in this together and for the long haul peeps! What did I do in particular?
- Took a time out – from work, from people, from social media. Just spending time breathing, exercising or reading.
- Dropped the passive aggression – while it’s still my favorite form of expressing my frustrations with someone, it really wasn’t helpful here. Forcing myself to really genuinely explain my frustration yielded far better results (who knew).
- Remember this person was MY teammate – we want everyone in our team to succeed right? Who reacts well to their teammates, coach, boss, showing exasperation, frustration or anger directly towards them? No one!
So, these 3 simple actions REALLY helped me and my team navigate some of the most challenging waters we’ll (hopefully ever) sail. Despite being in teams in various forms most of my life, it took lockdown Y2K20 to really teach me how to be an observant, conscientious and ultimately patient teammate.
My goal is to apply these to situations that occur outside of my quarantine team! In my place of work, in my soccer team, in family dramas! I’ll take a time out (perspective), stop being passive aggressive (immature), and remember…this is MY team!
My lockdown teammates were my saviors, my antagonists, my laughter and my despair. They taught me when patience really is a virtue, how patience can positively impact my actions and finally, how to put this improved patience to use once the world opens its glorious gates once more. When we’re reunited with all of our teammates.
Check back in next month for Lesson #2; Providing Support
In the mean time why not check out this quiz!
From Hull, England and now residing in Rhode Island, USA, it was soccer that took Sophie stateside when she began coaching summer camps in Colorado. She slowly migrated east to her Ocean state home where she now coaches girls teams and produces soccer programs and services for Challenger Sports. Sophie is a lifelong Arsenal fan and can’t wait to be able to visit her North London team when stadiums (and borders) open back up!
Sophie might claim that Arsenal are London’s only team but this is far from the truth. The city is littered with professional teams, can you name them?